The Fight for Solace
by AkumaXAi
Summary: It's funny really. How everything is going good for you until a few simple words cause your life to go spiraling into darkness. Jean and Armin knew this feeling all too well. Between bad breakups and deceased loved ones the two search for some kind of consolation and find it in the most oddest of places; each other. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE! JeanXArmin, ErwinXArmin, Past: JeanXMarco


**Title: **The Fight for Solace

**Rating: **T+. Subject to change in later chapters.

**Pairing: **JeanXArmin, ErwinXArmin, Past JeanXMarco, Minor: LeviXEren, MikasaXAnnie

**Disclaimer: **I don't own. All characters belong to Hajime Isayama. I only own the plot.

**Story Summary: **It's funny really. How everything is going good for you until a few simple words cause your life to go spiraling into darkness. Jean and Armin knew this feeling all too well. Between bad breakups and deceased loved ones the two search for some kind of consolation and find it in the most oddest of places; each other. But here's the problem: Jean and Armin are both male, which wouldn't be that big of an issue if Armin wasn't Jean's teacher and everyone around them wasn't against their potential relationship.

**A/N: **Hello readers! Now to everybody that knows me and my work, welcome back! And welcome to all newcomers of course! Just call me Aku, otherwise known as the authoress that you're going to end up hating within a few months since she loves starting new stories without updating her old ones!

But for now lets move past my shortcomings and talk about the fic. It will be long, it will be sad as hell, and you know what, it may be funny sometimes but trust me when I say this, the angst will definitely outride the humor. But please stick around for the show; just bear in mind while reading this story that things have to get worse before they get any better!

Not making this any better am I? Welp, continue on to chapter one for now than!

**X-xx-X**

''_It's best if we never speak of this again.''_

''_Where is this coming from all of the sudden?''_

Are you sure you want to delete these two messages?

Delete.

''_I don't want there to be any ill will between us.''_

''_So breaking up with me over text after ignoring me for two weeks isn't going to cause some 'ill will'._

Are you sure you want to delete these two messages?

Delete.

''_You knew how risky this was. It's best for us to just drop this now before it gets too serious.''_

''_I'm going to go on a whim and say after two and a half years of us dating you never took me seriously to begin with. I knew the risk when I, no I mean when YOU, approached me.''_

Are you sure you want to delete these two messages?

Delete.

''_I'm protecting you this way.''_

''_Go to hell.''_

De-fucking-lete.

* * *

><p>''I can't believe you spent your entire summer wallowing in self pity and depression over some jerk off with a bad haircut.'' A raven haired male said as he unpacked boxes. His green eyes took a look of disgust as he picked up a photo frame from inside the box and passed it over to his blonde haired friend. ''Burn it, toss it, chop it up into bits and eat it, I don't care what you do with it but if I see his stupid mug anywhere around your new place I'll walk over to his house and punch him right in the jugular.'' The blonde rolled his eyes playfully before chucking the photo into a box labeled as 'trash'. ''Honestly Eren I think you're more mad about this than I am.''<p>

''Because you're very shitty when it comes to expressing your true feelings!'' the boy named Eren said with a disappointed look. ''Honestly Armin I was waiting for you to sock that bastard right in his face after all the shit he put you through!'' Armin just waved off his friends rantings, already being subjected to them through the whole summer. His life has been a bit miserable these last two months but it was now reaching the end of August which meant he would have to go back to work soon and as of right now the only thing he wanted to think about was his job and and getting situated in his new home. Eren was here for that sole purpose but he gets...easily distracted to say the least. Especially when it comes to his best friends well being.

''And do you know Mikasa was about ready to grab her sword and pierce that fucker through the eye? It took everything in mine and Annie's power to hold her back! And Annie was actually struggling!''

''Eren you're ranting again. Here, this goes inside that endtable.''

''I'm ranting because he's a dumbass. A dumbass who's hurting you.'' He said as he grabbed the blondes knick knacks and shoved them in the drawer.

''Hurt me Eren. I'm over it, I'm over him, and I just want to forget about him and enjoy the new school year.'' At this Armins eyes began to widen in excitement as he clasped his hands together in joy. ''We're getting a whole new set of students this year! You should be excited.''

''Yeah I just love teaching shitty prepubescent brats about the circumference of a circle since their damn sophomore teachers failed to teach them properly. Joy.'' Eren said with an obvious air of disdain. The blonde pouted at this before shaking his head disapprovingly. ''Levi is rubbing off way too much on you. I hope you have no intention of cursing like that in front of your students." But the look Eren gave his friend showed none of the kindness that Armin possessed and a small part of Armin worried for the poor students that would be stuck with Eren for a whole semester.

Some students drop the class out of fear of facing a curse filled lecture and hourly death threats if you forgot your homework and others are viewed as high school champions for braving five months of vigorous studying and abnormal teaching habits.

Either way both groups end up scarred for the rest of their high school career. It wasn't a pleasant experience that most students like to go through. If anything Eren's class was full of students who neglected to attend early registration and pick which home room they would like to attend.

Armin felt for them, He really did. Eren wouldn't even let any students transfer out if they wanted to, which was the real kick in the teeth.

"Trust me Armin, these kids need some kind of discipline in their lives. Remember how I was in my freshman year of college?"

"Your loud talking, obnoxious, cocky, irritating phase of life? Yes I remember quite well. By your second semester you were being trained by Levi himself so you can be a more respectable human being."

"Exactly! Without boundaries how else will these brats learn to be as great as I?"

"Yes because that's all the world needs, little miniature Levi's running around making sure order and cleanliness is at 110% every hour of the hour." Armin said with the obvious air of sarcasm. Eren just rolled his eyes playfully at the blonde and picked up another box that was filled with clothing. He knew Armin was never really phased by his boyfriends antics.

''Where exactly do you want this. It looks like a bunch of shorts...like really short shorts.'' The blonds face blanched as he hurriedly grabbed the box and held it closely to his chest. ''This is going to the attic. I mean it's about to be fall so I can't wear these anyway...''

''Armin I've never seen you wear those anywhere a day in your life.''

''W-well it was something I would wear for Erwin whenever-" But the minute Erwin's name left the blondes mouth Eren immediately covered his ears and screamed to the high heavens.

''Ahhhh! I don't want to know and I don't need to know! J-just...Gosh Armin just throw them out or something!'' The smaller male groaned at the brunettes attitude and rolled his eyes.

''Eren you're making it seem like you and Levi don't have the weirdest kinks in the world.'' The blonde said exasperatedly. At this Eren just made a sound of disbelief while Armin continued. ''Please don't turn this into something bigger than it actually is. We're both adults here.'' But that obviously wasn't the case as Eren's sound of disbelief turned into full on venting.

''Armin what me and Levi do are totally different from what you and Erwin do-!''

''Did.''

''Did, do, whatever! You guys still did it! And whatever 'ít' is, it's quite disturbing to say the least. I mean honestly look at these!'' The blonde wasn't quick enough to yank the unbelievably short bottoms from his best friends grasp as he held them up. ''Seriously Armin how do you even FIT in these? It's so obvious they're not meant to hold your ass in or anything.''

''OKAY!'' After finally finding the strength and forgetting the raging blush on his own face, Armin managed to grab the article of clothing back from his friend and chuck it across the room. He tried to compose himself as much as possible so he can tell Eren off without seeming so flustered.

''Listen Eren, sometimes I wonder briefly how in the world we've been friends for 15 years but then I remember that deep down, _very deep down_, there is some good qualities about you that I love and respect. So for the love of God can you please stop talking before I start to reevaluate my friendship with you.''

Whatever rebuttal Eren had was quickly silenced by the blondes threat. He raised his hands in defeat wanting to just drop the subject and grabbed one of the bigger boxes on the floor and hurried to the staircase to avoid anymore confrontations with the ticked off blonde. Armin let out a strangled sigh and plopped down on his couch in defeat.

Eren has nothing but the best intentions and Armin knows this for a fact, but the blonde was stuck dealing with the same insults towards his ex and lectures about how he could do so much better for the last two and a half months that he's sick and tired of the repetitiveness that his life has taken up. After the break up he was left without a place to stay and was forced to choose between Eren, the over protective best friend with the worst temper in the world and the mouth of a sailor or his half sister Mikasa and her girlfriend Annie. And Annie and Mikasa's relationship was basically the personification of two grizzly bears in a steel cage death match where every season was basically mating season for the two females.

It's not a place Armin wanted to be whenever the two went at it. And whenever they went at it, they went at it hard, with no care as to who could be emotionally scarred in the process. So that left Eren to be the one to house him for the duration of the summer.

It wasn't necessarily a bad thing. In actuality the love Eren and Armin share for each other is sacred. More than friends, even more than brothers. Borderline soul mates if that exact term to describe the two wouldn't send Eren's boyfriend into a blind seething rage of undeniable jealousy, but they were undoubtedly close. However no matter how close the two were there were certain rules that Armin learned throughout the years of knowing and growing with Eren that had to be adhered in order to make the best of their friendship and not have them clashing at each other throats. Living with Eren for the last two months has broken at least fifteen of these rules.

The blonde loves Eren, he really does, but there was only so much of the brunette that he can take. In order for Armin to save their friendship from falling through the cracks he had to move out as soon as possible from the brunette. It wasn't as though they were on bad terms or anything it's just...where Mikasa was an intimidating, dauntless grizzly bear, Eren was ballbusting, loud mouthed titan.

Either way Armin was glad to have his own place again. The privacy was much appreciated and now he can finally enjoy the must needed 'me time' that he wasn't able to experience after a bad breakup. He was on the path of self discovery.

New job, new house, no strings attached.

Nothing can go wrong. Armin was invincible.

**X-xx-X**

"We are gathered here today to remember the life of Marco Bott. A caring friend, a loving son, and an astonishingly bright young man."

_'An even better and loving boyfriend but knowing how poorly you reacted to Marco coming out you probably won't even include that to uphold your 'quaint and faithful Christian family' facade. What a joke.'_

"He was taken from us too soon by a terrible injustice but knowing Marco he would not want us to wish any ill will. The only thing I truly wish from this event is for Marco to find justice and to rest peacefully in heaven. He is with God now."

_'Maybe it was a good idea that he didn't tell his parents about his atheistic views on life. He is the farthest from God, especially at this moment.'_

"I cannot have asked for a better son. Me and his mother are so proud of the accomplishments he has made and wish nothing but the best for him up in heaven."

_'Funny, could have sworn you screamed, and I quote, 'I could never give life to such a disgraceful faggot'. Hypocrite.'_

"I want all of my family and all of Marco's friends to remember our Marco in a positive light. I wish the best for all of you and thank you for attending this service. May God bless you all."

_'You also told me to 'go fuck yourself, you're going to hell, and numerous other slur words that I'm pretty sure your lord and savior wouldn't appreciate.'_

The service came to a tearful end as family and friends bid the grieving couple their condolences. The brunette teen looked a bit awkward, not entirely sure If he should approach the two due to the troublesome and traumatic few days he had endured with the Bott family.

To put it nice and simple Marco's coming out to his parents went miserable. And then after a terrible falling out with his parents, a minor disagreement between both he and Marco which came at such terrible timing, and him disappearing for two days just to turn up dead at the outskirts of town probably put him on Marco's parents shit list for the rest of his his life.

_'It's probably for the best. Marco wouldn't want me kissing up to his stuck up parents anyhow.' _But before the teen can even turn around to leave he caught the sight of the male who was holding the service. He walked up to him with a surprisingly calm look on his face.

"Oh Jean, if only things were different." The teen named Jean suppressed a shudder when the older male placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I know you're a good kid and so was Marco. It may be too late for my son but if you just admit to the lord your sins even he will look past your debauchery. He just might be forgiving enough to look past you corrupting my son-"

"I didn't corrupt your son! He loved me and I loved him just as much. He can't help that he was born that way-" The brunette was cut off as the older males hand squeezed tighter on his shoulder. He leaned in closer to Jeans ear, a smile gracing his face, but his eyes showing an unmistakable anger.

"Let me tell you one thing son. You will never raise your voice at me, around me, or around any member of my family. Also you will refrain from slandering my sons good name. He lived a good Christian life and he died a good and loving Christian boy. You will not ruin this for me or my wife. Now leave."

Jean looked as though he wanted to say more, some witty rebuttal, a few curse words damning their so called God, to leave kicking and screaming in some random police mans arms, anything to show his late boyfriend that he would not stand for this. He wanted to uncover the truth to every living person that had to sit here and be spoon fed all the lies by his selfish parents. He knew that Marco deserved at least that much after being disowned and shunned by his family. The mask that they put over his true self just to save face. To uncover the hypocrisy that practically dripped from his parents tears. It was disgusting and difficult to look at.

And yet all Jean could truly do was stand there. He couldn't bring himself to even stand up for himself or his late lover. The anger and sadness was bubbling up within him but all he could manage was a terse bow and a strangled out 'Sorry for your lost'. And the father wore his smug look with pride as he watched Jean walk out of the funeral home with his head hung low.

Once the brunette made it outside he couldn't stop the downpour of tears that cascaded down his face. He wiped at his face furiously with his jacket sleeve but to no avail. All the tears did was obscure his vision as he attempted to walk through the rainy streets to return to his home.

The rain is comforting really. Nobody looked at him weird for crying in the middle of the day and the only thing wiping away the tears did was leave his skin feeling harsh and rough from the material of his sweater. Besides, Marco was always such a crybaby. He might be happy seeing Jean 'expressing his feelings so openly'.

_'Expressing myself huh? Heh, same thing that got me in trouble with him last time. Just before he died...and you would think I would have the goddamn balls to at least stand up to his fucktard of a father.'_

Even thinking about it made Jean immediately livid. He didn't understand how parents can be so uncaring to their own son. Sure his father wasn't all keen on his own coming out but his mother welcomed him with open arms, even letting Marco crash at his place whenever the ravens parents were being more anal than normal. It frustrated Jean to no end to know that there were still bigots this cruel in two thousand and fucking fourteen. The nature of their beliefs disgust him to no end.

It was nice that his parents were so caring...

"Oh my goodness, Jean! Where in the world is your umbrella!? You're going to catch cold!"

Or too caring.

Jean's mother came rushing over and guided her son over to the kitchen. She was quick to put on the kettle and grab a wash cloth to wipe over his face and hair. Usually whenever she coddled her son like this he would be quick to refuse her help and start yelling at her to get grip but all he did was stand there motionless as she wiped his cheeks with the soft towel. She summed it up to the depressing day that her son had and forced a smile.

She knew about the situation regarding Marco and wanted her son to go to the memorial to get some kind of closure but she didn't expect him to come back feeling worse. She put the towel back on the counter and gave her son a smile. "How are you holding up kiddo?"

"I'm not a kid and I'm doing fine, thanks." Jean said bitterly. He let out an exhausted sigh and rubbed his hand over his forehead as though to clear his mind. "It's just hard y'know? I didn't even stay for the body viewing. I might have broken down right then and there. Didn't want his father to have that kind of satisfaction."

"Oh sweetie you'll get through this, don't dwell too much on it.'' She tried to sound as encouraging as possible but the brunette didn't even perk up. ''Do you want some hot chocolate to soothe your mind? Just how you like it, extra whipped cream, a Hersheys Cookies'n'Creme bar, plenty of mini marshmallows, and light cinnamon of course." She said in an extra sugary sweet tone. Jean let out a bitter laugh as he waved his hand in a 'whatever' type fashion. Truth be told, that wasn't the way he liked hot chocolate. Hell, he didn't like hot chocolate at all but whenever Marco came over he would always ask for the same beverage and his mother would prepare it to perfection each time. She would make one for Marco and Jean but Marco loved the drink so much that he would end up taking Jean's cup. It was always nice to see the ravens face light up whenever he took a sip of the hot cocoa.

But those days were over. No more late night study sessions that lead into small kisses at ungodly hours, no more walking to school together and saying hi to the nice shop lady who provided them with sweets, no more of that incredible feeling of being able to accomplish anything and everything with someone who truly understood you and was always there for you.

Marco Bott. His best friend, his lover, his _everything_, was gone for good. And it truly just hit him as he stood inside his bedroom with the steaming cup of hot cocoa but no freckle faced raven to give it to. Just a single picture showing his smiling, blushing face as Jean held him close that sat upon his desk. He placed the mug in front of the frame but even as he sat down on his bed his eyes couldn't turn away from it. Before the brunette even knew it there were tears streaming down his face. Slow and steady at first but then the tears just poured down his face in rivulets. He convulsed, slumping onto his bed as he held his hand over his heart to try to offer some kind of reassurance that he'll be okay but he honestly couldn't do it.

He wasn't sure if he was going to be okay. And that was the scariest part of this whole situation.

Everything was falling to pieces. Jean has never felt more defeated than he did right now.

**X-xx-X**

**A/N: **So we're already off to a depressing start for Jean. That sucks. At least Armin is happy!

For now.

Seriously, he's going to be depressed as fuck come chapter two. Sorry, but everybody suffers in this story. SorryNotSorry.

**CHAPTER 2 PREVIEW:**

Where Jean has the worst homeroom teacher and Armin runs into a familiar face.

Not really a preview but who cares.

BTW, I make that hot chocolate all the time and it is seriously the best chocolate orgasm you can ever have.


End file.
